just found this incomplete blog post i was trying to write for my xanga (now deactivated for fear of public humiliation from the entries written by my emo high school self) at the end of 2008. wow…so much has changed. but so little.
2008 was a year of a bit of self-discovery, opening myself to new experiences, and actually entertaining ideas of a different future. i used to really enjoy psychoanalyzing and finding myself, and that’s something i want to continue doing. and really dive deep to figure out what it is i really want to make of myself. part of this would entail regularly journaling my thoughts and experiences again. i haven’t done that in over 2 years. so much of my entire life and worldview has changed since then. i’d say journaling to me is like blogging but about far more personal experiences. sometimes i just transcribe my blog entries into my journal so i’ll remember those entries in the future. there’s something about putting pen to paper and having a physical record of one’s encounters that make journals really precious.
sometimes lyrics say it best. so i quote one republic, “the fight for you is all i’ve ever known”…you become so accustomed to a certain lifestyle or mindset, and it’s so difficult to change gears. to wake up feeling entirely different and in the wrong skin.
that really bad – but memorable – date. one of them i didn’t realize was a date until after.